This wait KilLs me.. It Literally kilLs me..

This wait KilLs me.. It Literally kilLs me..
 I am alone sitting on computer on this cold dark night… Its raining outside..
 My wife was waiting for our son’s call.. He said he’d call... This wait kills me.. it literally kills me…
 I remember when I was born.... Mirza Sikandar threw a huge party..
 When I was 5 … my amma left the village for me.. she wanted me to go to school. My father seconded her.. so they came to city for my education…
 I remember how my parents lived without food, without clothes, without shelter… just for the sake of my good schooling!
 I remember.. when I was 18, my mother sold her all gold on cheap rates as it was my wish to go abroad..
 This abroad killed me.. it literally killed me..
 It was a dreamy world.. I met Jessica..I married her… I forgot my past.. I forgot my parents.. I forgot to go back.. I forgot to send money to amma so that she could buy that gold again..!!!
 I forgot she was waiting for me with her arms wide opened and with her eyes full of tears.. then she died..I offered Fatiha.. I was sad.. but I couldn't go.. I just couldn't go back.. I was stuck .. badly stuck.. in that dream... in that fantasy... I forgot my baba was waiting for my strong shoulders to cry on….wheres my baba..? He must have died too?!
 I am too old now …. I am wating for my son.. my beloved son.. he said 3 months back that he’d call us.. Y he always forgets his old mother is waiting for him with her arms wide open.. and i am waiting for his strong shoulders to cry on...
 This wait KilLs me.. It Literally kilLs me..
 I want to cry …..but …. My tears are dry..
 Probably it is “Makafat-e-Amal”..!!! ??

 [ ** Saira beti.. merey jazbat ko lafz dena takey ye young generation jaan ley aur meri tarhan na bhatkay, jub na sar pe maa ka saya hai.. na saharay k liye aulad**
 ---Dear Uncle Mirza Affan, I tried my best to give words to ur feelings.. but I really couldn’t do justice..sorry for that!
 * Saira*]